February 7, 2013

What I'm Listening To: "Come to Me" by Jenn Johnson

Yesterday was hell and there's no nicer way to say it. It just was. It was one of the hardest, darkest days I've had in a while. It seemed that everything Satan could think of to throw at me was hurled my way and I found myself very disillusioned and weary from the battle. There were lots and lots of tears and many lay-myself-at-the-feet-of-Jesus prayers.

In my ache and grief, Jesus lovingly reminded me that there isn't anything I feel or experience that he doesn't understand... nothing that he himself, having been human, didn't feel or experience as well. He gets me. He knows me better than I know myself. He feels my pain and understands my longing. He sees my heart. He knows my story and has a plan for my future.

Living in and with mystery is not for the faint of heart. It will expose you in all the right and heart-wrenching ways and reveal what you deeply and truly think of God... how much you're willing to trust and depend on him... if you'll live by faith. It is the stuff of heaven though the process feels nothing like paradise. Some days I'm incredibly strong and resilient and I hold my sword ever so high, but other days I feel quite small and weak and I look for rocks to crawl under and hide. In the conflict, God is teaching me to live on the shores of heaven, far, far beyond what I see and feel. He's calling me up to walk consistently in truth and in the authority he's given me regardless of my circumstances or feelings. My heart is expanding in the process and it's both painful and beautiful.

There is precious little that I know for certain right now. I have more questions than I have answers, but I've learned I can have understanding or I can have God, and I want God. The answers will come in time. For now, he invites me to rest, to wait on him, to live in truth, and to trust him with my story. He says, "Come to me, I'm all you need. Come to me, I'm your everything."

I am the Lord your God, 
I go before you now. 
I stand beside you 
I'm all around you 
And though you feel I'm far away 
I'm closer than your breath 
I am with you 
More than you know 

I am the Lord your peace 
No evil will conquer you 
Steady now your heart and mind 
Come into my rest 
And oh, let your faith arise 
And lift up your weary head 
I am with you 
Wherever you go 

Come to me, I'm all you need 
Come to me, I'm everything 
Come to me, I'm all you need 
Come to me, I'm your everything 

I am your anchor, in the wind and the waves 
And I am your steadfast, so don't be afraid 
Though your heart and flesh may fail you 
I'm your faithful strength 
And I am with you 
Wherever you go 

Don't look to the right or to the left, keep your eyes on me 
You will not be shaken, you will not be moved 

I am the hand to hold, I am the truth, I am the way 
 Just come to me, come to me 
Cause I'm all that you need

"Seek my face more and more. You are really just beginning your journey of intimacy with me. It is not an easy road, but it is a delightful and privileged way: a treasure hunt. I am the treasure, and the glory of my presence glistens and shimmers along the way. Hardships are part of the journey too. I mete them out ever so carefully, in just the right dosage, with a tenderness you can hardly imagine. Do not recoil from afflictions, since they are among my most favored gifts. Trust me and don't be afraid, for I am your strength and song."  ~ from "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young

This is the second post in a series called, "What I'm Listening To: How God is Wooing My Heart Through Song"


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