March 13, 2013

Living in Limbo

We wake at 3 am to the sound of a screaming, angry alarm clock. My man rolls over and hits snooze, then turns towards me to snuggle up tight. Though it's very early, way too early to be awake, I enjoy these times of quiet with him.

Just as we're beginning to doze off once more, the alarm starts yelling at us repeatedly and we decide it's time to buy a nicer, kinder alarm clock, one that wakes us with soothing, happy music, to replace this one that only and always furiously hollers at us.

My man wills himself out of bed and heads to the shower while I decide to get up and make him some coffee before he leaves for work. I feel bad for him having to get up so early every day and for always having to work so very hard. I want to help and be supportive. We're a team and in this thing together, so I head to the kitchen, make the coffee, and throw together a quick lunch for him to take to work.

As he gets ready to head out the door, we talk about our days and all we each have ahead. I ask him if he wants me to make him a dentist appointment and he says yes and then jokes about wanting to get all of his teeth fixed this year and maybe get liposuction too so he can be my handsome, hot, stud-muffin of a husband. I assure him that he already is my handsome, hot, stud-muffin of a husband.



These are interesting days for us... this living in limbo. We jump off a few cliffs and make big decisions, then wait a few days to see what happens, what unfolds, and then we jump off a few more cliffs and make a few more big decisions, and then repeat the whole process over again.

The home we currently live in will soon no longer be our home. The home down the street that we've put a contract on doesn't really feel like our home either. I ride over and sit in the driveway and look at it. I try to envision our family at the kitchen table having dinner, or walking about the halls and rooms. I try to imagine our furniture in place, our pictures on the walls, our stuff stuffed in closets, but I'm still not certain. I think we might be good friends, me and this new house, but I don't really know yet for sure.

These are uncertain days for certain.

But even in the midst of limbo, in the middle of the now and not yet, we are finding God. A dear and trusted friend encouraged me to look for him in the little things right now, maybe not in the big things, but just in the little ones. And I'm doing that and I'm finding him, over and over again, as he comes for my heart in the sweetest and smallest of ways.


"When you look for me, you will find me when you search for me with all of your heart."
~Jeremiah 29:13


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2 comments

  1. Jeremiah 29:13 - what a great reminder. I have come across it twice today - usually when I come across a verse more than once, it's because God wants me to reflect on it and put it into practice.

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  2. It's a beautiful verse isn't it? How encouraging and life changing it is to know that God can be found; all we have to do is look. Blessings on your search... It sounds like he may be looking for you as well. (smile)

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