September 18, 2013

Sweet Like Honey


photo credit: tamutimes.tamu.edu


"Kind words are like honey...
sweet to the soul and healthy to the body."
~ Proverbs 16:24


My words didn't flow like honey last night.  Oh they flowed alright, but definitely not in a kind and sweet and healthy-to-the-body sort of way like this scripture talks about.

It had been a long day.  No doubt a good day, but also one filled with lots of activity and projects and housework and by 8:30pm, when I got home from taking my son to team pictures for football, I was spent.  Or, as our family would say it, I was completely "shwagger-washeded".

If I could have crawled in bed at that very moment and called it a day, I would have.  But my husband had just gotten home from work and my daughter from a choir performance and I wanted to catch up with them.  The kitchen was a mess and needed to be cleaned from all the baking and cooking I'd done earlier and from the four of us eating in shifts over a period of several hours.  There was still much to be done before the day was over... many more miles to go before I could sleep.

While my husband and I sat down to chat and spend a few minutes together, the kids cleaned up the kitchen.  I don't remember what the issue was, but the two of them began arguing about something.  I could feel the weariness and tension and irritation rising up in my heart and getting the better of me.  I gave/barked a few directions/orders, raised my voice, and told the kids to stop fighting and be nice, while all the while knowing that I was the one who needed to be nice.  My tone was horrible and my attitude was worse and only growing worser by the moment.

Eventually, the kitchen was clean and everyone headed upstairs to get ready for bed, everyone but me.  I lingered on the sofa for a bit finishing up some reading, but when I went to turn out the lights and head upstairs myself, I realized that the garbage needed to be taken out, the doors needed to be locked, and all the lights in the house needed to be turned off and I was not happy.  Not happy in the least that everyone had abandoned me and left me to wrap things up for the night.

I said a quick prayer like "HELP!" as I slammed the garbage bags into the bins and for much too long, I entertained feelings of irritation, frustration and self-pity.  I knew I needed Jesus to help me, but honestly, I don't think I really wanted his help.  I just wanted to be mad and tired and feel sorry for myself.

I marched and sulked upstairs and as I was getting ready for bed, I made it all worse by saying some choice and catty remarks to my husband about how everyone needs to help out a bit more at night.  And, as you might guess, he didn't take those words too well.  Not too well at all.

It wasn't the best night around the Barker house.  No, not one of our finest for sure.  And sadly, I had a LOT to do with that.  As I write this, I'm ashamed and disgusted at my selfishness and immaturity, my poor and careless choices and yet, I'm equally and all the more thankful for grace and forgiveness... that God loves me as I am and not as I should be.

I was convicted of my words and attitude before my head ever hit the pillow and I could fall fast asleep.  I prayed and asked Jesus to forgive me and I thanked him for his never-ending grace and patience and love.  And the next morning, before the sun even came up, I sent a text to my husband telling him I was sorry for being cranky and complain-y and told him I was crazy about him.  And over breakfast, I apologized to my kids for being bossy and mean.

I want my words to be sweet like honey, good for the soul, gracious and kind.  I want them to bring life.  I don't want to parent my children or offer to my husband out of weariness and exhaustion.  Yes, we're human and we do get tired, but even then, God is enough.  His love and life can flow through me to this precious family of mine, even when I'm completely worn out, as I lean into him and draw my strength from his life.  I am not enough, but he is, and I'm so utterly grateful for that truth.


"Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, 
so that you will know how you should respond to each person."
~ Colossians 4:6

"But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
    They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
    They will walk and not faint."
~ Isaiah 40:31

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
~Plato


SHARE:

2 comments

  1. Quit, putting camera's in our house and writing about us. :) I love your guys for being so honest and having a true heart. "Flaws and All"!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does our home and family sound a bit familiar? So glad we're not alone in our craziness! Thank you for your words... sweet like honey they are! (smile)

      Delete

© be... & keep being. All rights reserved.
Blogger Templates made by pipdig