January 27, 2014

I've Got This

I was scrolling through my Instagram feed this morning and came across a picture of a beautiful star-filled night sky, and stretched across it were these words...

"I made all of this out of nothing.
Trust me, I can take care of you."
~ God

They caught my attention and made me chuckle a bit. Yes, God did make the stars, the sky, the planets, the earth, the universe and everything else out of absolutely nothing, so, of course, he's completely capable of taking care of me.

I know this IS true. I know this to BE true. I've seen him work in my life time and time again, yet it's almost comical and sad how much I forget it. How much easier it is instead to try to figure out life on my own and make it happen, as if I need to take care of myself. I pull up my boot straps and stand up straight and plow through as gracefully as possible while attempting to dodge the daily bullets of stress and conflict and shield myself from suffering and pain. 

Without even realizing it, I can too easily live as if I'm on my own and it's all up to me. With surprisingly little effort, I find myself fixing, protecting, controlling, and pleasing, all in an effort to create a safe, manageable, and predictable life. But not only does it rarely work, it's a wrong and false and godless way to live.

Part of it is due to being human and living in a fallen world, and part of it is due to my own unique story, to the things I've experienced in life and the ways I've been hurt. But I am not defined by this world, or by my story, nor by my wounds. I am defined by God and God alone… his work on the cross for me, his love and heart for me. He never intended for me to live alone or on my own, he created me to find my life in him.

I love the scripture…

"In repentance and rest, you will be saved.
 In quietness and trust is your strength." 
~ Isaiah 30:15

I'm learning that it's in repenting of trying to live life on my own and in turning away from self sufficiency that I'm saved. It's in daily dying a thousand deaths to my own will and plans that I'm rescued. And it's in quieting and calming my heart and mind before God and trusting him to take care of me that I find my strength. 

I don't want to live life on my own. My deepest desire is to walk with God, dependent on him and trusting him solely and completely to take care of me. I'm so keenly aware of my need for him and more confident than ever in his love for me, his ability to care for and come through for me. 

When I catch myself responding to life out of fear or control or self-sufficiency, I'm reminded of this scripture and I make a conscious choice to turn from the fixing, protecting, controlling, and pleasing and turn instead towards Jesus… towards repentance and rest, quietness and trust. I lay down all of my cares and plans and pray out loud, "Jesus, I love you and I trust you. You will perfect what concerns me. My times are in your hands."

And, as I pray, I sense a smile on his face and in my heart I hear his comforting words...

"Yep. I've got this."

"Give up the illusion that you deserve a problem-free life. Part of you is still hindering for resolution of all difficulties. This is a false hope! As I told my disciples,"in the world you will have trouble." Link your hope not to problem solving in this life but to the promise of an eternity of a problem-free life in heaven. 
Instead of seeking perfection in this fallen world, 
pour your energy into seeking me: the perfect one."
~ from "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young

These photos were taken in the woods behind our home on a cold and  foggy winter morning.


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