February 22, 2014

Getting It Right

One morning this week, as I drove my son to school in my usual jammies and slippers and big heavy coat, we chatted about the day ahead and how much he loves sports.

He was telling me all about a game he once played and this one particular play where he felt really alive and strong and proud, and I listened and smiled and nodded as he talked. I was totally engaged and present, or so I thought, but unfortunately I got it all wrong.

When he finished telling me about his clever punts and passes, I said something like, "Ahhh… That's awesome, Dude. You're such a great athlete and I'm really looking forward to watching you play soccer this spring." 

And then he turned and looked at me with a blank stare, and being somewhat annoyed said, "Mom, I was talking about football."

Oops.

I quickly apologized and before I made the whole thing worse by defending myself, I thankfully chose humility over pride as he wondered if I was even listening to him in the first place. 

I don't know where my mind goes sometimes. Maybe some of you moms can relate. I'm listening to my kids, engaged, wanting to offer and be present, and yet I get all the details wrong, or sometimes never even hear them in the first place.

I'm sure some part of this is due to multi-tasking as if my life depends on it, and to thinking of a thousand different things at once, but still I hate it. I want to not only listen when they speak, but I want to really hear them, and I want them to KNOW I really hear them.

Michael and I are very blessed that our kids actually talk to us. I know that can be rare with teenagers. Both Jane Anne and Gray confide in us in ways that show their respect and trust, and I want to honor that and honor them, but still I don't always get it right.

And this is where grace and mercy comes in. Where I'm the one needing and asking for both, not my children. And this is where I trust that my children know my heart towards them, regardless of how I respond in the moment, and where I hope they know not only how much I love them, but how much I'm interested in every detail of their lives. And this would also be where I need to give myself huge amounts of grace and mercy for not being the perfect mom and not always getting it right. I'm not superwoman and I'm not God. I'm only human and I can very easily be a little crazy and scatter-brained at times. That, I KNOW, I'm getting right. (smile)


Jesus, thank you for your grace that covers me… my children, my relationship with them, our very hearts and lives. Thank you that you love and accept us, whether we get it right or not. May we offer that same unlimited grace to each other, and to ourselves. 




Of all the pictures we have of Gray playing sports over the years, I think this one may be my favorite. He looks like an angel about to take flight and I love the look of determination on his face. Oh how I love this boy and love being his momma.



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9 comments

  1. Jenny, I can so relate! I agree it is so important to BE in the moment with our family. I also agree that as a mother, it can be a daunting task. I will join you in trying harder...Thanks for the inspiration, and I agree...a great shot of your son. : )

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    1. Thank you for your words, Billie Jo… I'm happy to be walking this road of mothering with you! :)

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  2. Love this...I think the iphone has truly gotten in my way lately. Trying to keep it far away so I can remain focused and not think about all the emails and reminders that I have going on. Love that your kids are able to talk with you at this age. Hope this remains true for me in the teenage years. You are doing a great job Jenny!

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    1. Oh, yes… the iPhone! I'm always aware of the need to live with great intention when it comes to that wonderful little gadget... Setting it down when the kids get home from school, leaving it in a room when I go to another room, giving myself time limits, and more. It's challenging when a great deal of what you do requires your on-line, plugged-in presence. I'm always seeking and praying for the balance. Thanks for offering your heart here, Nicole, and for your kind words. Blessings...

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  3. Oh Jenny.... I loved this post! We really all do this as mothers, don't we?!! My husby is constantly reminding me to be attentive when my four call my name a thousand times a day! I love that you and I were on the same wavelength in writing about being present.... a perpetual goal of mine! Love you my friend! You are an amazing mother! xoxo, Sara

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    1. Yes, to the perpetual goal of being present! I'm certainly with you on that! And, yes to the endless amounts of grace and mercy Jesus offers when we're not because I SO need them! :) Thanks for your sweet words, Sara, and lots of love right back atcha, my dear friend! XO

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  4. I love this post as well. Those morning car rides are a great opportunity to share and listen... My eyes are heart are opened to make sure that I AM listening, and hearing my girls. Thank you for sharing!

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    1. I agree, the morning car rides are prime opportunity to share and listen and be present with our kids. I know I'll look back on these dropping-off and picking-up days with great fondness one day when my kids are grown. A lot of life happens in those short car rides. Thanks for your words, Aimee… Love to you and your family!

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  5. Thank you for being real people. We love you guys and pray fro you often! South Carolina

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